The cup of coffee I sip is dark and heavy like the thoughts that run through my head. I used to be a latte or a caramel macchiato…now I am drip at best. The least exciting. Blame it on a bad relationship as of late. Great and beautiful things can be ruined before they have a chance to grow. Potential that has been squashed due to a person’s wrongful motives, selfishness, behavior, etc… These two people may consider themselves both miserable in their current state. Yet, they do have so much fun together, so much love to give each other, SO MUCH POTENTIAL!…if it wasn’t for….well….Me.
Currently, I am wrapping my head around paragraphs of positive words and life stories in a book called Soul Revolution by John Burke. Calling on the Bible for many correlations, he speaks of love. About it and how to transact.
Now, when I think of a transaction I recall the nice woman at wal mart who scanned my items, gave me a receipt and I went on my way. Theres more to it. When we engage in a transaction we must give and recieve. Applying this to relationships, I see too many reading declined like my last Visa card purchase (yes, Im broke). Many people seek something to make them feel good, or someone to make them feel good. We as humans have need for interaction, and desire to have our cup filled…we love…love. But, if we’re just trying to find the next best thing, or next best someone to start a relationship with to make ourselves feel good…well, then we’re doing it all wrong.
The word transaction in regard to all forms of love is relatable and simple Give love. Recieve love. Don’t seek it for selfish motives and do not continuously take without giving. And overall, be good to eachother.
The problem I bring to the table is my over developed quality of….well that’s personal but I know what it is. Imagine yourself having one of these terrible behaviorial traits…well, such as insecurity. You know what you’re doing is bad…and it is completely preventable. But, just like a bad habit, it’s hard to kick and mistakes are repeated. Its therapuetic to know that I am the problem here. I just need to get to that next step, to get me OVER the hill, changing my nick name from “bad girl” to “good girl”. Jealousy is an ugly trait.
Hashtag Crazy Girl Problems
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